Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
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I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
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I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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