Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize