i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
