Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
