the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
honey bunches of taint.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
