i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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