i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
