How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
