Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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