If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize