I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
