apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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