You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
