Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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