Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
