dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
