I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
