Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
