his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
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buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
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After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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