He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize