yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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