I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
