1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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