Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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