so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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