Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
