I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
