i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
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I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
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I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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