my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
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i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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