ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
