Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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