Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
