You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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