it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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