She's JV to your varsity
wat bout pragnant strippers??
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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