Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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