Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm at about main and main street
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
