I wish i was in the wii world.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
