So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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