So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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