can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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