I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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