sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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