Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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