Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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