i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
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This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize