its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
