Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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