would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
