franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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