he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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