How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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