oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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