we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
