I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
