Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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