Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Randomize
