We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
