good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
