the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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