I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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