Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
