gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I currently don't understand fingers.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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