at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive.
So much puke
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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